The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma Read online

  If the character’s loved ones suffer collateral damage due to this wound, or the injustice or hardship stretches into a long-term circumstance, the distress will increase, creating an unmet need that must be filled more quickly. Because imbalance is not a natural state, the character will be driven to do something to right the situation, even if it is only to sacrifice one need for another.

  Failures and Mistakes

  Wounds that involve a personal failing are common and are often deeply internalized, since most characters are their own worst critics. Self-esteem is impacted, as these wounds can quickly evolve from “I made a mistake” to “I am a mistake,” leading the character to feel deficient or defective. This can spawn the belief that he deserves to be punished, resulting in various forms of self-castigation, impacting core needs, and keeping the character from finding happiness and fulfillment.

  The significance of this backstory wound will depend on the kind of mistake, how personal it was, and whom it affected. The character may shy away from future responsibilities out of fear or overcompensate through perfectionistic tendencies to try to atone for what happened. Often, a strong catalyst will be needed to push him to risk failure again, especially in situations in which other people may pay the price.

  Misplaced Trust and Betrayals

  These are caused by the people closest to the character who exploited his love and vulnerability. Trust-based wounds can be especially difficult to move past because the character is no longer able to rely on his intuition about people, believing his judgment to be flawed. Due to their innate sense of connectedness as maternal nurturers, women can be more deeply affected by these wounds than men.

  This type of trauma often results in the character becoming overly sensitive to real or perceived betrayals. Small offenses tend to take on more meaning and reinforce the need for him to protect himself and hold back. The character finds it nearly impossible to give people the benefit of the doubt, and forgiveness becomes a mountain to climb. The closer and more personal the relationship was that involved the betrayal, the more bitterness and resentment will set up camp, and the harder it will be for the character to move on.

  Crime and Victimization

  Wounds of this nature awaken fears of death or pain, leave a character feeling violated, and shake his faith in people and the world at large. While he might blame the perpetrator (say, a drug addict who stole his car), the character sometimes ends up finding fault with something greater, such as the government, an established social system, or humanity in general. This can lead to fear and resentment directed at multiple sources, along with a high level of disillusionment. In this case, the character feels let down and unprotected by a world that should care and do more to keep people safe.

  Victims of crime also may blame themselves unfairly; a woman who was raped may believe that her flirting was a contributing factor, or a man whose home was robbed might blame himself for leaving the door unlocked. In this circumstance, the underserved and self-directed blame is very often (if not always) part of the lie the character believes to be true.

  Traumatic Events

  Traumatic events have an element of randomness, making them almost impossible to prepare for or protect against. In real life, a wound like this reveals a person’s inner core of strength or weakness, and while we all hope to respond well in these situations, we often don’t. For our characters, the shock of the experience can leave raw emotional gouges that are slow to heal.

  A wound that is sudden and shocking often deprives a person of closure, leaving him with only questions: Why did this happen? Why me? How can the world be so cruel? Not only will a character be shaken by the experience, he may also question his own reactions and assign himself blame for not ensuring a better outcome. This self-blame is usually irrational, damages self-worth, and creates guilt (including survivor’s guilt, in some cases). A traumatic event leaves a person especially changed and perhaps jaded. His fear of something similar happening again can lead to extreme shifts in personality and behavior, especially when it comes to safety and security. It is also the category most likely to lead to a character suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

  PTSD is a recognized disorder affecting some people who have experienced a significantly frightening or dangerous event. Someone suffering from PTSD may relive what happened via dissociative episodes that can last for moments, hours, or days. The character might also be triggered by reminders of the event, avoid emotions or thoughts associated with the trauma, have nightmares and difficulty sleeping, and be tense and on edge due to a chronic state of hypervigilance. Emotional volatility (including self-blame and guilt) is common, along with negative self-thoughts and depression-like symptoms such as isolation and losing interest in passions or hobbies.

  While it’s normal for victims to experience a range of these responses following a trauma, those suffering from PTSD have symptoms that linger for a longer period of time (even indefinitely) and are severe enough to impact their daily lives. If they have difficulty obtaining the help they need, more fallout can occur in the form of broken marriages, job losses, violence, homelessness, and drug or alcohol abuse—all of which compound the problem and further degrade the character's ability to cope with the condition. It’s important to note that children also fall victim to PTSD and may respond differently than adults. As with any mental disorder, it’s critical for authors to research it and the circumstances that create it thoroughly. How PTSD will manifest is highly individual, requiring writers to have a deep understanding of the character so they can convey this condition accurately in the story.

  Specific Childhood Wounds

  Of all the wounds, childhood-specific ones can do the most damage, since the younger the victim is, the fewer emotional barriers are in place for protection. Children don’t typically have the experience or maturity to understand what they’re seeing and experiencing, and this leads to dysfunctional rather than healthy coping mechanisms. There is a physiological aspect as well, as some traumatic wounds affect the structure of the brain itself, which is still developing even into a person’s twenties. This cognitive rewiring hampers the ability to cope.

  Childhood wounds may contain deep elements of betrayal that sometimes aren’t felt until later, when the character realizes that he should have been protected by caregivers and society in general (if the culture embraces the idea that children are innocent and must be protected). This betrayal burrows even deeper if a caregiver or close family member inflicted the wound, and it will greatly impact how the character bonds with others as an adult. Childhood traumas also have the most time to fester, meaning there will be more layers of emotional shielding that will be harder to undo.

  While these groupings can be helpful in categorizing possible traumas for your character, one fact remains true for all of them: backstory wounds are much more than painful memories. Real damage is done, and the fallout will seep into many aspects of a character’s life moving forward. Inside each incident is a seed of doubt: Is this somehow my fault? Am I to blame? This doubt blossoms, eroding self-worth, and while time can be a great healer, it doesn’t always work this way. If another moment of similar emotional pain comes along, it can reinforce the original fear and false belief. Only by gaining perspective through self-growth and self-acceptance can the deeper pain of a wound be finally put to rest.

  Remember that while a character’s past will likely contain a minefield of negative experiences, for story planning purposes, the reader will need to be clear on which pain the character will have to confront and overcome. To achieve this, it can be helpful to focus on creating a single backstory wound that represents the bottleneck of hurt and pain your character feels. Charting this event or series of related events will also help you understand which false belief will emerge to attack your character’s self-worth or alter his perceptions, leaving him with a jaded worldview. For more help on planning this part of your character’s past, see Appendix D.

  PAIN RUN
S DEEP: FACTORS THAT WILL IMPACT THE WOUND

  We know that a wounding event can greatly change a character. But how much impact will it really have? In truth, the effects of these incidents vary due to the character’s unique history; an event may be devastating for one person while leaving no lasting mark on another. However, in a story that follows a change arc, the backstory wound should always be debilitating. The havoc it wreaks should hamstring the character in a way that makes it impossible for her to get what she desperately wants and needs unless she changes and sheds her fatal flaw—a key negative trait, bias, or intrinsic modus operandi that can only be overcome through self-growth and rejection of her false belief. To choose a wound that will be a truly crippling force within the story, take the following factors into account and apply them as needed.

  PERSONALITY

  One vital component to understanding the impact of emotional trauma is knowing who the character was before the wound sent her life off course. Core personality traits make all the difference in a crisis. For instance, an innocent or naïve character could be hit hard by a wound involving injustice, resulting in disillusionment and the formation of emotional shielding that causes her to pull away from others. Yet someone more worldly and experienced may react differently, perhaps seeking a way to balance the scales, even if she must sacrifice her moral code to do so.

  Each character’s unique makeup of traits affects her handling of stress and strain, and knowing her pre-wound personality makes it easier to predict the exact type of shielding that will go up in the aftermath of a painful event.

  PHYSICAL PROXIMITY

  While all wounding events have the potential to be torturous, characters who experience one directly are likely to be more affected than those who are farther removed from it. Take, for example, a group of people involved in a school shooting. A student who is critically wounded by the assailant will experience much more trauma than a classmate who hears the gunshots but does not encounter the shooter. And dealing with the event will be more challenging for both of these characters than it will be for a teacher who was absent that day. Everyone involved in a tragedy will be impacted on some level, but those closer to it will have the most difficulty moving past it.

  RESPONSIBILITY

  As we’ve discussed, wounding events are traumatic, in part, because the victims almost always blame themselves. So one way to construct a truly invasive experience is to make sure the character feels responsible. A mother whose child drowns could be entirely free of wrongdoing but might still blame herself because she didn’t react quickly enough, never signed up for that CPR class, or let her phone’s battery die so there was no way to call for help. Following this train of thought, a victim who truly is culpable on some level may have an even harder time recovering from the blow.

  One thing to remember when assigning true blame to your victim is that it can affect the reader’s ability to empathize. Few people will hold the death of the aforementioned child against the mother, despite her perceived guilt. But if the child drowned because the mother was shooting up in the bathroom? Readers will have much less sympathy for her and may distance themselves from such a protagonist. Granted, a character’s responsibility for a horrible event can do good things for your story by adding tension that may be missing from a true accident, and lessened empathy can be overcome in other ways as events play out. But it’s something to bear in mind.

  SUPPORT

  A large part of resiliency has to do with the amount and kind of support that’s available for a person when tragedy strikes. A character buoyed by loved ones who share the stress burden and infuse positivity into her life may bounce back more easily when bad things happen. Likewise, a strong faith that remains unshaken through difficult circumstances can keep a person grounded in the aftermath. On the other hand, a person with little support or whose faith is crushed by traumatic events will have a harder time getting back on her feet.

  RECURRENCE

  Any tragic event can be traumatic. Being sexually or physically abused, failing others, or being rejected by a parent are all horrible experiences with long-lasting effects. But when the same occurrence happens repeatedly, those wounds dig deep, making healing and recovery more challenging.

  COMPOUNDING EVENTS

  While the wound itself is life changing, it can be worsened when the victim also has to deal with hardships that follow, such as getting divorced or being fired. Mental and emotional complications (panic attacks, depression, or incapacitating fears, for example) can follow a traumatic event, giving the character other challenges that must be faced. And, of course, any recurring reminders, like physical scars, nightmares, or stimuli triggers, will make healing that much more elusive.

  INVASIVENESS

  Another factor that can make a wounding event even worse is how personal it is. Attacks on the body and mind are incredibly intimate and can produce a heavier burden than something more random. Being specifically targeted (as in a case of bullying) can be harder to deal with than an arbitrary incident, such as being one of a dozen people whose identities were stolen.

  EMOTIONAL PROXIMITY

  In a similar fashion, the person’s emotional closeness to the assailant can affect how intimate the victimization is. Imagine a character who told the truth about a heinous crime but wasn’t believed. If the person dismissing the character is just an acquaintance, such as a school counselor or police officer, the betrayal may not have much of an emotional effect. But when it happens with a parent or sibling, it can be particularly detrimental.

  EMOTIONAL STATE

  What is the character’s emotional state when the trauma occurs? Is she coming off a success that has left her feeling confident and capable? Or is she already struggling with issues that have worn her down? The event will be harrowing no matter what the extenuating circumstances, but a person who is feeling good about herself and life in general may have more resiliency than someone who’s struggling with other issues or is already recovering from a heavy blow.

  JUSTICE

  Humans are infused with a natural sense of fairness. When we’ve been victimized, we want the guilty party to be held responsible, and the bigger the crime, the bigger the punishment should be. Part of closure is knowing that justice has been served, reparations will be made, and the person at fault won’t be able to strike again. It’s hard for a character to move on when she knows that the person to blame for her pain hasn’t been punished or is still out there, an unseen threat.

  These are some of the factors that can compound an already awful situation and make it even more injurious. So if you’re interested in making things more desperate for your protagonist—or creating the desired degree of separation for a secondary character—keep these aspects of a wounding event in mind when planning one for your story.

  REVEALING THE WOUND THROUGH BEHAVIOR

  Once you’ve determined which wounding event has molded your character into who he is in your current story, you must begin the tricky process of revealing it to readers. This is important to do for a number of reasons. First, it gives readers information that ties the character’s present to his past; in effect, it lets them know what’s driving him, and why he is the way he is now. It’s also critical for readers to identify the wounding event because it sets up exactly what the protagonist will have to face and conquer by the end of the story for him to succeed. And acknowledging the wound can lead to increased empathy, which plays a pivotal role in readers being engaged in the character’s journey.

  Keep in mind that if you choose a static arc, it may not include much inner growth, nor a reconciliation with the past. But using behavior to hint at old trauma is still important. Characters should always have complexity and depth, even if it isn’t fully realized through a transformative change arc.

  So how do we convey this vital piece of backstory to readers? This is where the importance of showing instead of telling comes in.

  As with any vital story element, showing is almost alw
ays preferred because it allows the reader to share the experience of what’s happening rather than be spoon-fed data. It’s the difference between painting someone a picture and giving a factual report; the former evokes emotion, provides texture, and engages the viewer, while the latter is simply a means of relaying information. Whether you’re describing a character’s emotional state, revealing his personality, or establishing the mood in a given scene, showing is typically better because it draws readers deeper into the character’s experience. The same is true when you’re revealing the wounding event. This important moment from the past can be shown two ways, and both can be effective in proving just how broken the character is.

  THE BIG REVEAL

  Sometimes it’s best to reveal the wound in its entirety through a flashback, a memory, or a conversation with another character. Disclosing this event all at once can be impactful because the reader is able to see it in one poignant scene, giving it a much more active feel. This is the most dramatic method, enabling readers to experience what happened along with the character, heightening that emotional connection. We see this in the first scene of the Harry Potter series. Through a conversation between Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Hagrid, readers are shown the tragic incident that Harry will spend the next seven books coming to grips with.